A lifelong journey
by Bazuka97
Summary: Okay..I give it a try. These are short stories from my A/U made up when I was a teen. It was only based on season 1 and the movie Generations, so if it seems strange, thats why, even if I have adjusted a bit
1. Chapter 1

At the end of all things - Picard

Everything was quiet. The sun was slowly making its way across the wall in their living room. From outside the sound of children laughing and playing reached him. As in a dream. Or another reality.

So far had they come. So long a journey through an unstable universe. So many dangers, so many days of work, and oh so many broken dreams, but still, together they were, labouring on their endless task... and now...?

He shifted on the couch, but even that was painful, and could only be done slowly, slight nausea washing over him. He sighed and stayed still. He could smell the soup simmering in the kitchen and freshly baked bread, he could smell fresh grass through the open window, from far away he thought he heard the regular beating of hooves on a dirt road, and wished SHE would come to see him and banter away his fears. She would laugh already in the kitchen, noisy and brilliant as ever, she would enter the living room and approach the couch that now confined him, bringing colour and life into the room. And she would talk. Well, the latter was inevitable.

Footsteps announced the coming of somebody, but not her. These footsteps were more familiar, a part of his life for countless years, in good times and bad, and dangers uncountable, but now she settled on a footstool with a gentle smile on her still beautiful face. He raised a hand to caress her face and touch her hair, once a flaming halo around a face lost in passion... or a fire framing a worried frown in times of trouble, but now it was grey with only fleeting strands of red. He smiled at her.

'Beverly...'

'Haya is coming over for lunch with the girls. The school is over, and they will be home for a couple of weeks at last...'

'And Wes?' He asked, not knowing what answer he would expect

'He stayed in Timbur, he said the were so much to do, the election is coming up fast and he...he really believes in it...' She fell quiet, obviously worried.

'He is running for president? For real? What will he do when he fails?'

She didn't answer right away but looked without seeing at the wall and the photos there. Including the wedding picture of Haya and Wesley on a holodeck location years ago. Her daughter in law was looking right into the camera with a strange look of trust. A look she had lost way to fast when life – again – had played tricks on the poor girl. Not that she ever complained. Honor forced her not to. She was never very klingon in her ways, but somehow that honor-part was so much part of her being that she would endure anything as long as she didn't loose face.

'He don't believe he will loose, I think. He...He honestly believes that he will win because of his closeness to you...and to Will of course...that we have done so much for the colony that he will benefit from it...'

'One more reason why he should have stayed at the university, teaching! This...It smells of neopotism Beverly!'

He edged himself up in a sitting position, forgetting pain, nausea and weakness, her old 'captain' suddenly visible through the mask of an old, frail man. She tried to calm him down.

'Really Jean Luc it is a democracy. He will not win just because he wants to. He will win if the people of Tajo believes in him...'

She tenderly put a hand on his chest

'... and I will make a sidedish besides the soup when Haya and the girls are coming. Will caught some very nice trout last time he went fishing and Data smoked them...' She leaned forward and kissed him, happy to see him smiling at her again.

'I believed I heard a horse...?'

'It was Surea. I am sure she will look in on you when she returns'.

She kissed him again and left the room.

He sighed deeply, trying to push his annoyance with Beverly and Jacks son out of his mind. Wesley was ever brilliant, but also... a bastard. How could a child of two so lovely people end up being so...not lovely. At least he had provided them with Haya and their two girls Gaia and Bethra. And to be honest, those two girls, although now grown young ladies, was the joy of his twilight years... Twilight years! What a beautiful frase for something with that little dignity. Or at least dignity had been a rare commodity the last year. He had never been concerned about Beverly being younger than him, after all he had felt almost immortal...until last year...

Time is the fire in which we burn... he shaked his head at the memory. What made him furious was to see Beverly grow old and careworn, to see her slowly fade, her beauty seeping away, to see Will suddenly look like his father did, to see the lines tracing Deannas flawless face, to know that they would all be forced to move on toward the last frontier, the last adventure... And this time...they would not be together. They would leave one by one leaving only Data behind... He closed his eyes. What made him furious was that they had lived through all those dangers, all those missions, assimilations, coups, violent diseases and wars, wars enough for several lifetimes – and the final war for the freedom of every living being and the survival of their colony...to end here. Dying slowly in a living room in his case!

But it was ironic. Because that had been the very same thing they fought and died for...then. To be able to die in peace, of old age surrounded by loved ones. Why was it part of being human never to be satisfied? Because if a wish came true, it was always with a bitter-sweet taste? Well not every wish, he amended, Beverlys song reaching him from the kitchen. Her voice was not so powerful as it was once, but still hauntingly beautiful. To be granted what he had wanted most all his life, had never been bitter.

Try as he might he could not pry his mind away from Wesleys silly dreams of election. That was not how he wanted it to be! The colony was more a colony of the mind, supposed to run itself along guidelines, and what he and later Will had done, was more diplomatic in nature, had to do with relations to the universe that surrounded them rather than dreams of a palatial residence and power. Indeed. If Wesley and the other fools, H'scun in particularly, was to decide it would bring them right back were it all began. Right back were they broke free from the federation. He sighed. He was old, and weak, and utterly powerless. Maybe this was also the nature of man, regardless of the exact species, to feel compelled to make mistakes over and over again. Not that it mattered, really.

After it was all over they, meaning his senior officers and friends, had settled in the village of Jemo on Dneb III, part of the colony of Tajo. There they had stayed and there they lived that very day. Of course he had guided the colony in the early years, with Will as a helping hand, and the others as well, of course. Each in tune with his or her talents, and the years going by so fast. Now they were all old – or at least older. There had been many wounds to heal, but together they did it! And they were still with him...all of them. All who were alive anyway. In the last months Tasha had entered his dreams. And he wondered if she was coming to pick him up, but he didn't dare to tell anybody. Maybe I will tell Surea he thought, drifting of. Silently happy they all were beside him, at the end of all things...


	2. Chapter 2

Exodus – Surea J'or

I was born on a small planet named Cenos. No hard feelings if you haven't heard of it. Nobody have. Our culture was Scandinavian, my ancestors left earth at the end of the 21th century in hibernation. A primitive form of spacetravel, long forgotten, existing only in historybooks, and very dangerous as well.

But anyway, they left their home because they resented the development of the European union. So they went into hibernation, brought seeds and embryos and what do I know, and set out for the unknown. The unknown was Cenos. It was a planet much to their liking, small, relatively cool summers and winters with lot of snow and far away from the rest of the rabble. And there our cultures survived. We were divided into 7...tribes... for lack of better word, and we preserved our individual traits and languages, but with English as our common language, and we didn't change much. There was no need.

My parents had a small farm on the continent of Dela near the village Haderup. We belonged to the tribe of danes, so if you have any knowledge of Scandinavian culture at all, you will start to wonder about my name. I am named after my grandmother on my mothers side. She came with starfleet, but resigned and married my grandfather. Little did my parents know that they doomed me to share her fate in many ways.

Though we are unknown to most people we are known in starfleet, and there have been representatives on Cenos ever since spacetravel gained momentum. Mostly they live in their headquarter in New Helsinki and don't bother with our strange world were savages eat real food and play soccer out in real air, BUT they do oversee education and offer the best and brightest a future among the stars. Many of us declined. As did I.

So I grew up in a small village. Went to school, got bored and started to work. Partly at my fathers farm and partly in a company owned by a friend of my father. He worked with landscaping in different ways, and I enjoyed it a lot. I spent all my days out in the sun and wind among good friends and ending each day with a beer. Who can ask for more? I was an only child, but not overly spoiled. There were always a lot of work to do and never empty hours – or a lot of money for that matter.

My passion was horses, and my boyfriend loved them as well. We spend happy hours riding and training – when we didn't have sex, since we were very young – and we were supposed to take over my fathers farm. I was happy. I never believed my life would change the way it did.

One evening I went for a ride and when I returned a man was waiting for me in the barn. He was wearing starfleet uniform, was bald and not too tall. I put my hand on my horses neck to reasure myself. I suddenly had a chilling feeling that everything was shifting around me although I didn't know why.

There is something I have neglected to tell you...It is...oh well...I don't really like to say it, but... I am maybe the most intelligent human in the galaxy. I was talking before I was one, reading before I was two...you get my drift? My IQ is...well the reason for all my trouble, since it was handed over to starfleet, and of course I was offered my place among the stars, and I declined. I had no place among the stars. My place was at my fathers farm with the man I loved and I always took pleasure in ordinary work. But that evening, facing that silent man I somehow knew would change my life, I had reached a crossroad.

'Hello...' I said, my voice almost gone

'Miss J'or? 'He asked, holding out his hand. I took it and nodded weakly

'Miss J'or I am here to inform you that you will be joining the crew of the Enterprise as soon as possible...' He tried a smile, but it did not reach his eyes

'I am captain Jean Luc Picard...'

Of course I had heard about him. You can't find a backwater so far away that he is unknown. But at the moment I couldn't have cared less. I could not believe my ears. I turned to stone.

I will spare you the story of my reaction, of my farewell to my parents, friends, family and animals. I never said goodbye to my love. He was visiting relatives on the continent of Edom, something with a funeral, and we couldn't wait for that, for him to return. So we left. My belongings, such as they were, stuffed into plasticbags. My crying parents. The sun setting the last time behind the family farm. The cool summer evening. Birds singing. The captain...uncomfortable... at the very least. Not that I took piety on him, not then and not now. Of course it was not, really, his fault. He was acting on orders, and at that time the captain would not question an order. No matter how absurd it was, he would do it, and they had ordered him to pick me up and curse me to a life among the stars.

They had reason, allright. The peace in our part of the quadrant was fragile, and they had decided that I should not fall into unfriendly hands. Not that I understand what it would matter, I could not tell any tales from the federation. When Enterprise picked me up I had never used a replicator or a holodeck, I had never left Dela, I knew NOTHING. All I had was 6 full plasticbags and my strange brain. A brain that was my ticket to a new unwanted life in a strange place. He tapped his com-badge and asked to get two beamed up. Blinded by tears I saw the faces of my parents and the sun setting over our farmland one last time.

I never returned to Cenos.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for your kind reviews. I am happy that you liked it. I will take Codedrivers advise and ask if somebody would be Beta for me. Even if I feel it is much to ask when I update as rarely as I do, some tidying up probably wouldn't hurt. Oh, and standard disclaimers apply, off course. I Break this story up in 3 because...then I do get an update done this month or something...**

Fallen I – Haya Nevara Crusher

Every morning I go to see the captain. The doors of the home that, technically, belong to Wes and I, slide shut behind me, leaving the house empty until I return. I cross the quiet dusty street and follow a footpath under ancient oaktrees, planted long before we came here, long before we where into the plans of the continuum and the federation alike. Even long before a shivering teen was given the right to beam on board the flagship of starfleet and had her life changed.

To me he is always the captain. Although he is some kind of father in law to me and I have known him all those years, when I am alone I can only see him as the captain. Of course I call him by the familiar Jean Luc when I talk to him, or grandad when I refer to him to the girls, but in the moment I leave his and Beverlys home he again becomes the captain. In the end it has to do with respect – and maybe even love. Without him I would have been nothing, and probably dead, killed alongside my mother and so many others at the tragic accident on Venus. Now I am free to walk in the sun dappled shade and wait to see my girls home from university every second week. Who am I, not to consider myself lucky?

I will not go into detail about my mother. Those who have heard about Shira Nevara already knows more than enough and those who haven't... well. My mother was one of the most gifted scientists of her generation and raving mad. She experimented heavily on my sister Dirit, on my father and on me, but where Dirit was kept home all the time and trained as scientist right from the cradle, I was allowed to go to some classes. That changed everything, and I am sure she would never had let me go, if she had known what would happen. One of my teachers made sure I was elected to an exchange program, because of my talent – and love of engineering . So 16 years old I beamed on board the Enterprise to be an acting ensign in engineering. When my mother realized she could not stop what was happening without confining me and my teacher finding out I was gone, she choose another revenge. She told me of my father.

I know I should not have believed what she told me, but when she told me I was still under her control and still on her drugs, so I believed every word of her lies and it took father and I years to close the gap between us. He made my first time on Enterprise much harder, and our silly attempts to keep our relation a secret just made it all even worse. I know that I am lucky in some ways not to look like a Klingon at all, but then, had I looked like K'Ehleyr there would have been no playing games. As I look, most people believes I am a Bajoran or something they haven't heard of yet. So many strange races joined the federation at that time and, seemingly, I was just another. Despite the hardship with my father, I found friends there. Geordie became my mentor, and in his easygoing fashion a friend, and by a natural extension Data and Wes joined my world.

I am socially awkward, but in a way we all 4 was exactly that, and Wes was about my age so we had a lot of fun together and so slowly I broke free from my cocoon. The matter with my father remained unsolved for almost half a year and every occasion we needed to be together was strained. I suppose the captain has figured something out, and he knew my mother as well off course, because he sent us together to a conference on Dema II, obviously planning we would be able to talk things out. What he didn't plan was us crashing on the uninhabited 3th planet in the Solarus system and that it took them weeks to find us. In the end we had to talk to survive, and I came to accept that he did NOT rape her (twice since I had a baby brother, Envan, that she could make me believe is beyond me today) and he did NOT abandon us. She never told him their union produced any children. He had also been extremely young and totally in her thrall, but she did that to people around her. We came back as different persons,although we still had a long way to go, and in many ways we never got the relationship I guess both humans and Klingons want in their close family. We get along well enough, but he is Worf or my father. Never 'dad'. In a way I am probably a disappointment, almost totally a human, but that is not something you choose for yourselves, it is given.

After two years I was called to the captains ready room and he told me it was time to return to my mother and to join the academy. I almost broke down in tears and begged him to let me stay. He fixed me with a stern gaze and said.

-Ensign you don't behave properly at the moment if you wish to become an officer in starfleet. I have noticed such behavior on occasion, and has requested that you must live at the academy and not with your mother, so that you can receive extra help. My good friend Admiral Herez will see to that...

My heart stopped for a moment as embarrassment washed over me, and the he winked! And I understood. He had saved me. I was not going home.

I stayed at the academy two years, and I actually enjoyed my time there. Though I did not carouse like many of the others I found new friends and I talked with my sister Dirit as often as possibly on a closed canal she had gotten her hands on. One of our more interesting guest teachers was K'Ehleyr who did a few lectures on relations between species. In many ways she was all I had ever wanted to be. Beautiful, fiery, brave, intelligent. It was as if she had gotten the best from both worlds – and I had not. But she seemed troubled and withdrawn, and at that time I did not know what it could mean when a woman places her hands on her abdomen all the time, or at least when she thinks nobody watches... Sometimes I think about what might have happened if I had told her who and what I was, but I didn't. Anyway, Enterprise returned to earth and it was time for me to join them again.

The captain greeted me in his ready room. He seemed pleased to see me again and really pleased about my grades. And then he insisted that I should visit my mother before we left.

- Trust me ensign, it is not good to leave things behind like that. We take our risks and we pay the price when we have to, but we have to try to make some kind of peace with ourselves...

-But Sir... I hated the insecurity in my voice... I am afraid that if I go back...she will make me...not wanting to return...

-Your life is your own ensign! He stated firmly. As if anything was so simple when my mother was involved.

-Sir...You don't know my mother. If I go back to her alone, she will never let me go!

-I know of your mother ensign Nevara, and you are not going alone. Lt J'or and Data will accompany you to Venus. You will send your mother a message to let her know about your visit at 900 hours tomorrow. Lt J'or will pose as your friend and Data as your boyfriend.

I could only stare in horror as he calmly delivered what I felt as a sentence of doom. I had never considered the possibility that my captain could be raving mad. But now it seemed very likely.

-Mrs Nevara can not affect mr Data in any way, and as for miss J'or... His lips curled slightly

-Dismissed ensign

Two hours and a strained lunch with my father later I stood at Ten-Forewards wooden doors, afraid to enter. As I peeked through the doors I saw what I had expected to see. Geordie, Data and Wes at their usual table. But they were not alone. SHE was there. I knew from messages from Wes that she was their friend now. Surea J'or. Basically a rogue from a backward, silly colony. The stories Wes told about her behavior in her first months was scandalous at best and almost unbelievable, but what troubled me the most was the idea that she had someway taken my place. My place. I who never had friends before resented deeply that I could loose them because of her. I did not as yet understand the flexibility of the human heart, and that love and friendship shared just kept growing and expanding. With a deep breath I pushed the door open.

Wes bolted from his chair and ran to me and hugged me. Geordie followed. I was floating in their embraces and the warmth of friendship. Data tried a hug as well.

- Welcome back Haya. I have been working on my emotional responses to various situations. Did I get this one right?

-Oh yes, Data... I laughed and wiped a tear from my eyes

-I'ts so good to see you guys again... I realised that she now stood next to the table. Waiting. She was not tall, but... solid. Her hips was broader than beauty required and her breasts also somehow malproportioned to the rest. She had obviously not given in to those little cosmetic corrections most women in her situation would have used, and she didn't seem to care if it showed. I haven't done anything with myself either, but basically I don't know where to start, and today it doesn't really matter at all.

I looked at her face and found her nose to be rather sharp and not really feminine, and then our eyes met. I had never seen eyes of that strange waterclear shade of gray before, and her eyes was the only place I saw it, until I went on leave with her one day and visited the Scandinavian peninsula at wintertime. There, at the coast, the exactly same color existed in the sullen waves of the north sea. Almost as if her people had taken their beloved homeland along in their genes and preserved it through generations, so that one of them, one day, could return to the coast they left from.

She offered me her hand in greeting and I took it. For no known reason I was sure she would become my friend.

We met next morning in the transporterroom. My stomach churned at the idea of going home, to face those familiar walls again, and, even with two chaperones, I was not sure I would ever return to the ship. I believe that I seemed pale, even under my light brown skin, and Surea gave me supportive smile as we stepped upon the platform. Data looked puzzled as always

-Would you like me to hold your hand? He inquired

-What!

-I have made studies on human behavior, and back in time it was customary that a couple would hold hands when their plane took off. Since transportation is the modern equivalent of old-fashioned air travel, and we are supposed to mimic a couple romantically involved, I would be happy to hold your hand, ensign Nevara...

-You'd better call her Haya if this is gonna work at all! Surea pipped in. I rolled my eyes ceilingwards and felt the slight tingle as the beam took us.


End file.
